When Montclair Councilor-at-large Peter Yacobellis was 17 and discovering his identity as a gay man, he got some devastating messages from society.
At his church one day, he suddenly found himself at the altar, surrounded by the congregation, who were trying to “pray the gay” out of him.
He then enlisted in the Air Force, figuring it would “straighten him out.” After he violated the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy by confessing his confused feelings about his sexuality to a chaplain, he was discharged, screamed at and told he would “never amount to anything,” he said.
As traumatic as those experiences were, Yacobellis didn’t let them defeat him.
Instead, they’ve motivated his work over decades to change laws and attitudes toward the gay, queer and transgender communities. Starting in the early 2000s, he helped lead the march on Washington to get the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy reversed, worked for New York Sen. Hillary Clinton and was an official in the administrations of New York Govs. David Paterson and Andrew Cuomo until 2014, working on marriage equality.
In 2010 he helped found a New York City chapter of The Trevor Project, a national nonprofit that provides crisis intervention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning youth.
“Maybe it’s the hotheaded Italian guy from Queens in me, but I was like, ‘Hell, no, I’m going to turn this into action, we’re going to change society, we’re going to change laws,” he said.
He’s continuing his change-making ways in Montclair, where he moved with his fiance, Ben Bright, in 2017. Last month, he launched the nonprofit “Out Montclair,” which will host a Pride Festival in June 2022. On the council, he’s working to introduce laws and programs to provide a “safe space and solidarity” for the local LGBTQIA+ community–lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, non-binary and gender-fluid youth and adults.
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Though Montclair is known as a welcoming place for the LBGTQ community, Yacobellis said, there is still plenty of work to be done.
At the top of his list is helping young people find like-minded peers. “When I came out in NYC we had the LBGTQ community center, we had gay bars and clubs,” he said. “I want to create community for kids who are struggling and don’t know other kids like them.”
He also wants to create a sense of belonging for seniors, with events such as movie nights and trips to Broadway shows.
Pride Festival: Food, comedy, art
Plans for the June 2022 Pride Festival are in motion. There will be an outdoor soundstage with music, comedy and other entertainment, such as drag queen performances; food and beverage booths sponsored by Montclair restaurants, and resource booths from advocacy organizations such as Planned Parenthood and the Montclair Animal Shelter.
“Woven throughout will be public art, wherever and however we can, displays and painted surfaces, things in trees,” he said. “The focus of Out Montclair is fun, not advocacy. There are a lot of groups that already do a great job with advocacy.”
Montclair’s wealth of nonprofits and arts organizations offer “exciting synergies,” Yacobellis said.
“A lot of restaurants have reached out to host events. Hundreds of people have signed up already to get connected and we’ve received thousands of dollars in pledges. It’s fun to see everyone swoop in,” he said.
Reubena Spence and her wife, Madeline Gale, civil rights commissioners for the town, approached Yacobellis about starting an LBGTQ organization in town as soon as he began his councilman position last summer. “We were a little jealous of our sister town, Maplewood, which had a gay pride group,” Spence said. “We had no formal organization, no cohesive anything.” she said. “Peter was rising very fast and we knew he was the right person to make this a reality.
“If he hadn’t been there, I don’t think anyone on the council would have pushed ahead and gotten it done,” she said.
New ordinances
As a councilman, Yacobellis will introduce a package of ordinances this month that include creating gender-neutral bathrooms and banning the town from discriminating on the basis of gender identity and expression in hiring and procurement.
“There’s a whole lot you’d think we have codified in law and policy that we don’t, so there’s a lot of catching up to do,” he said. “Mayor Sean Spiller, Deputy Mayor Hurlock and a majority of my council colleagues have already signaled their support,” he said.
The first event for Out Montclair was a panel discussion on gender and pronoun terminology in April. The pushback against trans people, he said, is another example of a message of hate that leads to violence against LBGTQ individuals.
“We are never done with hate and discrimination,” he said. “It’s like whack-a-mole, we always seem to find a new group to dislike or distrust or discriminate against or hate.
“Out Montclair is a way to say, you have a home here, you have friends and allies, you are welcome here.”
Julia Martin covers Montclair for NorthJersey.com. For unlimited access to the most important news from your local community, please subscribe or activate your digital account today.
Email: jmartin@gannettnj.com
Twitter: @TheWriteJulia
