Jeff Jacobs: Sun coach Curt Miller apologized for being wrong; now it’s Liz Cambage’s turn – CTPost

As a white, heterosexual, 65-year-old man, I realize some feel I am qualified to speak only about Social Security, baseball and prune juice. Education and life experience don’t matter. Good intentions don’t matter. Twenty-six years of covering women’s basketball matter not a whit. In some people’s eyes, perhaps even Liz Cambage’s eyes, my analysis should be confined to golf carts and enlarged prostates.

“I do not care for a white man’s opinion on racial issues,” Cambage recently wrote on another matter. “Never have. Never will.”

But hey, I like to live on the edge and I’m not going to shut up. Despite seven stents, two open-heart surgeries and a pesky cholesterol count, I look at the skim milk in the refrigerator on the odd day and reach for the whole milk for my Cheerios. Yep, on the edge.

So I’m going to say it. What Liz Cambage said in return to Curt Miller was racist and she needs to apologize or be disciplined by the WNBA. If she doesn’t care what a white man thinks, perhaps she’ll listen to some needed words from a white woman, league Commissioner Cathy Engelbert.

In an Instagram post late Sunday night, Cambage said there was something that happened Sunday in Las Vegas’ 72-65 loss to the Sun that needed her addressing.

In an attempt to get a favorable call from the refs, Miller brought up Cambage’s weight.

In the heat of the game, coaches exaggerate all the time to try to influence an official. An elbow becomes attempted manslaughter. A 5-10, 165-pound guard becomes 5-foot-nothing, 120 pounds when knocked down. And when the biggest person on the court is getting physical, they’re suddenly as big as a house, weigh 300 pounds, even a ton, and are still getting all the calls around the basket.

Conversely, my wife has long impressed on me, and I adhere to her words with a fanatical sense of self-preservation: “Never say anything to a woman about her weight.” I’m sure many other men have been similarly warned. Oops, have I broken an unwritten rule by writing this? Am I sexist? Or a sensitive man? Or should I go back to talking about the 1961 Yankees?

Of this, I’m sure. Body issues for women are real and serious. Her appearances in ESPN the Magazine’s Body Issue and with Rihanna’s lingerie brand stand as visual proof she doesn’t weigh 300 pounds.

“If there’s one thing about me is that I’ll never let a man disrespect me,” Cambage said. “Ever! Ever. Ever.”

With you 100 percent, Liz.

“Especially a little white one.”

What? What does race have to do with his remark? The answer is nothing and, given the volatile nature of the world, the words are way out of line.

“So to the coach of Connecticut,” she said, “I’m sorry little sir man I do not know your name.”

So it turned condescending. This is Miller’s sixth year as a WNBA coach. He took the Sun within one game of the WNBA title in 2019 and to the playoff semifinals last year. He is the Sun GM and coach. It’s Curt Miller, Liz. Curt Miller.

“The next time you try to call out a referee, trying to get a call, being like, ‘C’mon, she’s 300 pounds,’” she said. “I’m 6-8. I just double-checked, because I love to be correct and get facts. I’m weighing 235 pounds.”

OK, cool, but you may want to correct Wikipedia. It has you at 214.

“I’m very proud of being a big b****, big body, big Benz, bay-bee! So don’t ever try to disrespect me or another woman in the league. I don’t know if that’s how coaches run. Like you try to disrespect women like that from the sideline. You’re so lucky it was during a game.”

Cambage stared at the camera.

“You were so lucky I was doing my job.”

She’s talking trash now. She was applauded by many on social media. Some find it entertaining. Those last two sentences and the stare appeared like intimidation to me. Even a veiled threat.

“Any way to that little man, whole little tiny, where is you?”

She holds her index finger and thumb an inch or two apart. Yes, definitely intimidation.

“Stop trying to protect your insecurities, bay-bee. Pick up the phone. Call this psych (or sike). Because you’re projecting some bull (blank). Next time you try to disrespect me …”

Cambage is wagging her index finger at the camera now.

“Remember I’m 235. It might seem like 300 to your little eyes, but I’m 235, bay-bee.”

She mimed a couple of kisses, checked out, only to return: “I think there’s a big difference between players and player talking (blank) on the court, but for a coach for the other team to be yelling protected abuse — because we can’t do nothing back — is just crazy to me. And I be talking a lot and I didn’t even say nothing tonight.”

The story, leading with Miller’s apology, got national play Monday. And the more play the apology got the more I wondered if what Cambage had done wasn’t more damaging. She took it way too far.

Over more than five years with the Sun, Miller has shown himself to be a good man. He is a gay man in a world of team sports, a trailblazer. He has spoken openly. He is an inspiration in the LGBT community. Miller also has an adopted son who was sentenced to prison for armed robbery and he has openly shared his heartbreak and hope for him. This is no bully. He is a respectful interview, prone to long and thoughtful replies. Last summer, he coached with a big “Racial Justice” badge on his shirt. He cares.

In the heat of the fight, he went hyperbolic. He needed to apologize. He did. And later Monday night, Miller, who spoke to Cambage’s agent, amplified: “As a leader, words matter. It was inappropriate and offensive. It wasn’t directed at Liz, but it makes no difference. I’m disappointed in myself. I’m truly sorry. In a league where we empower women and have spent 31 years (as a coach) empowering women, it’s unacceptable.”

Miller would not directly address what Cambage said.

Cambage is a complex study. In 2019, she wrote a powerful piece in The Players’ Tribune about her fight with anxiety and depression. She also has been called a bully on the court. Allie Quigley and Stefanie Dolson said she’d call players “fat asses” on the court, something Cambage denied. Stef isn’t a liar.

More recently, Cambage threatened to boycott the Olympic Games in Tokyo, saying two Australian Olympic team promotional shoots lacked racial diversity. Her point was well made, yet her threat to boycott wasn’t especially well received. Cambage, the daughter of a Nigerian father and Aussie mom, backtracked. She will play in the Olympics.

When you say what Cambage did about not caring about white men’s opinions on race or demean someone one as a little, tiny man, you lose allies. We all need allies when the walk is righteous.

Trump and his ilk would probably brand me a socialist. I was once put on a blacklist by a religious group for supporting gays. Certainly, I have applauded voices in sports for speaking up on social issues, involving Black lives and the police. And that has brought no shortage of emails in my inbox imploring me to shut up and stick to sports. I will not shut up, but it has made me careful not to endorse the wrong message.

When LeBron James tweeted “You’re Next #Accountability” with an hourglass emoji at Columbus police officer Nicholas Reardon, it made me sick to my stomach. Ma’Khia Bryant’s death was tragic. She also was lunging at another Black girl with a knife when Reardon shot her. People began tweeting and saying all sorts of crazy stuff about him. If I were that other girl’s dad, I’d call him a hero. LeBron took down the tweet and admitted he fueled the wrong conversation.

Although this is certainly not a tragic situation — not even close — Liz Cambage must be careful not to fuel the wrong conversation.