BRUSSELS (Reuters) – Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban defended his country’s law to ban the dissemination of material in schools deemed to promote homosexuality or gender change, and declared himself a fighter for LGBT rights.
“I am a fighter for their rights. I am a freedom fighter in the communist regime. Homosexuality was punished and I fought for their freedom and their rights. So I am defending the rights of the homosexual guys, but this law is not about that,” Orban told reporters on arrival for a meeting of EU leaders, who are expected to raise the law that many EU capitals have criticised.
“It’s not about homosexuals. The law is about to decide what kind of way parents would like to sexually educate the kids, (this) exclusively belonging to the parents. That’s what the law is about,” Orban said, adding he had no plans to repeal it.
Summit chairman Charles Michel said separately in arriving to the talks that the 27 national EU leaders will have a debate about the contentious new Hungarian law on Thursday evening.
(Reporting by Philip Blenkinsop and Marine Strauss, Editing by Gabriela Baczynska)
In the days leading up to Christmas, Mike Flatt and his staff would wrap hundreds of presents for the customers at Tryangles.
The bar owner knew many of them didn’t have a home they were welcome to for the holidays.
So in many ways, the recently shuttered Louisville gay bar became their home.
That meant at Christmastime, everyone walked out of the bar with armfuls of gifts, and on Thanksgiving, people packed into the bar for a full turkey dinner. When the bar opened in the early 90s, fewer families embraced gay men and their partners. Going home to mom and dad meant his customers often had to pretend to be someone they weren’t around the dinner table or the men they loved weren’t invited. So Flatt decked the halls and threw the best celebration he could.
Acceptance of the LGBTQ community isn’t universal today, but it has certainly has grown. That means that while there are more inclusive and safe spaces around the city for the LGBTQ community it creates a sort of loss for places like Tryangles that traditionally cater to a specifically gay crowd.
Flatt saw the downtickin customers over the years as his Thanksgiving table thinned out and his clientele grew more comfortable in mainstream bars.
Today gay men have so many other places they can go, Flatt toldme when I met him on a Southern Indiana porch in late June, about a month after Tryangles shut its doors for goodat 209 S. Preston St. They can walk comfortably into any bar on Bardstown Road or in downtown Louisville.
That’s a beautiful, but difficult, problem for anyone who owns a traditional gay bar, he said.
Tryangles hadn’t really made money in about 12 years, Flatt told me. After nearly three decades in business, the bar couldn’t sustain itself any longer.
Flatt’s since moved to Mexico, but I hadn’t tracked himdown during a recent trip back to town to talk about the downslide. When the bar closed in May, it was the longest consistently operating gay bar in Louisville and an institution for the LGBTQ community. So in tribute, I spent some timeafter the closure chatting with the people who were instrumental in Tryangles’ heyday.
Flatt was candid with me when we met. He’s never been a drinker and the whole “owning a bar” thing started as a fluke.
Flatt purchased his original bar, Teddy Bears at 1148 Garvin Place, on a whim for $2,700 in 1987. The previous owner needed cash fast, and Flatt had a wad of it in his pocket because he used to purchase antique paintings.
He didn’t know anything about drinking culture or running a bar, he told me, but he figured he could sling beer. He was right, and about seven years later, that success expanded to a second bar with Tryangles.
Flatt enlisted Teddy Bears’ bartender, Richard McLargin Jr., better known among guests as “Turtle,” to run the buildout at Tryangles. They left him “a lot of wood and a lot of money” and from that, he created a country western-themed bar complete with a corral-like dance floor, front porches and bar that was supposed to feel like the center of town.
The focal point was a saddle adorned with a mosaic of tiny mirrors to make it look like a disco ball.
“It was beautiful, and it was sharp as hell,” McLargin remembered, as he described getting it up on the wall.
Tryangles was supposed to open April 1, 1994, he remembered, but that was pushed back. When the carpeting showed up just days before opening, it was pink — and it wasn’t supposed to be pink.
“Don’t look outside,” McLargin remembers telling Flatt and his partner, Charles Baker Sr.
“It’s a gay bar isn’t it?” the carpet company told McLargin, which infuriated everyone involved.
Black carpet was installed instead and Tryangles opened a week later.
The backroom evolved as the bar did, Flatt remembers. Connections, at nearby 120 S. Floyd St. was the popular place to dance, so eventually, they reimagined that corral and brought in male strippers instead.
They were high-energy, talented straight boys, who were putting themselves through the University of Louisville.
One went on to become a doctor and another has since earned a top position at a large Louisville company, Flatt said, speaking proudly of them and also carefully to avoid outing their dancing past.
Privacy, as you can imagine, is essentialfor many in the LGBTQ community.
That’s part of the reason there are no 27-year-old photos of the nightlife attached to this column. Pictures of the early days of Tryangles are exceptionally hard to come by.
Flatt didn’t have any of the interior on hand, and even as we scrolled through the shuttered bar’s Facebook page, he was respectful ofthe bar’s clientele. He spent nearly three decades protecting his family. That wasn’t going to stop now that the doors had closed.
Darrell Robinson, a retired drag queen known as Cissy Blake, told me that he always felt like a part of that family. Walking into Tryangles was like walking into that bar from the sitcom “Cheers.” The bartenders knew his drink, which was vodka, soda and a splash of orange juice. He had hisown stool and he spent most afternoons at Tryangles during happy hour. For a brief period, he ran karaoke for the bar, which filled Tryangles with endlessshow tunes and Elvis Presley songs.
It was the kind of place that if you walked in as a stranger, you didn’t stay a stranger for long.
Robinson, who was one of the first publicly HIV-positive people in Louisville, remembers having young gay men come up to him at the bar, pull him aside and confide their own status to him. During his own journey, he dropped down to 133 pounds and his outlook got so dark his family put a marker down on his grave plot.
“If I can pull out of it, you can pull out of it,” he’d tell the frightened men at the bar, trying to be the moment of light they were seeking.
In so many cases, Tryangles had been his family, particularly as his own family started passing. He wanted to be that for other people, too.
The warmness that you felt when you walked into the bar was really what set it apart from its competitors, Robinson told me.
That was theattitude that Flatt insisted upon, and it was part of the reason he named his first bar Teddy Bears. He didn’t want anyone to walk into his business without getting a hug. He tried to keep thebar from becoming clique-ish. The people who came to his bar were his friends. They didn’t just buy drinks from him. Flatt invited many of them out to his home in Southern Indiana and for day trips on his boat. When they hit hard times often he paid their water or electric bill.
He tried to build a culture of love and acceptance for people, who often, never felt it anywhere else.
Eventually, though, Flatt’s health dwindled, and about 13 years ago, he started splitting his time between Louisville and Mexico. He held onto the building, but he turned over the business to the son that he and Baker raised together. As the bar struggled and finances dwindled, selling the building became necessary.
He’s proud the LGBTQ community’s place in this city has evolved so much that his family is comfortable wherever they want to go.
It hurt, though, watching the bar close. It was like losing a piece of himself.
That doesn’t change what the space meant to him for 27 years. As he spoke about what he created, his smile was as striking as that sharp, beautiful mirrored saddle.
“I had fun,” he told me. “That was the main thing, I had fun. No matter where I went, I wanted people to have fun and that’s the way I’ve lived my life. Trying to make sure everyone had a smile on their face.”
Features columnist Maggie Menderski can be reached at mmenderski@courier-journal.com.
BRUSSELS (AP) — Several European Union leaders insisted Thursday that discrimination must not be tolerated in the 27-nation bloc, setting the scene for a heated summit over new legislation in Hungary that would ban showing content about LGBT issues to children.
The law was signed Wednesday by Hungarian president Janos Ader after Hungary’s parliament passed the bill last week. Widely condemned by human rights groups, it prohibits sharing content on homosexuality or sex reassignment to people under 18 in school sex education programs, films or advertisements.
The government says it will protect children, but critics say it links homosexuality with pedophilia. It will enter into force in 15 days.
Speaking upon arrival at the meeting in Brussels, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban ruled out withdrawing the law, insisting it does not target homosexuals.
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“It’s not about homosexuality, it’s about the kids and the parents,” Orban said, portraying himself as a protector of homosexuals.
“I’m a freedom fighter in the Communist regime. Homosexuality was punished and I fought for their freedom and their rights,” he said. “I am defending the rights of homosexual guys but this law is not about them.”
The issue has turned a harsh spotlight on the EU’s inability to rein in the “illiberal democracies” among its ranks like Hungary and Poland, whose deeply conservative, nationalist and anti-migrant governments have flouted the bloc’s democratic standards and values for years.
It’s also taken center stage at Europe’s premier international soccer tournament, where the continent’s governing soccer body UEFA rejected host city Munich’s plans to display rainbow colors during a match between Germany and Hungary at the European Championship on Wednesday evening.
Luxembourg Prime Minister Xavier Bettel, who is openly gay, said the Hungarian law further stigmatizes homosexuals and should be fought.
“The most difficult thing for me was to accept myself when I realized that I was in love with this person of my sex,” Bettel said. “It was hard to say to my parents, hard to say to my family. … We have a lot of young people who do suicide because they do not accept themselves, how they are.”
In their coordinated messages on Twitter, several EU leaders wrote that “hate, intolerance and discrimination have no place in our Union. That’s why, today and every day, we stand for diversity and LGBTI equality so that our future generations can grow up in a Europe of equality and respect.”
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Many attached a letter to their tweets addressed to European Council President Charles Michel, who hosted their summit, as well as European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen and U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres, who also took part in the meeting.
“Respect and tolerance are at the core of the European project. We are committed to carry on with this effort, making sure that future European generations grow up in an atmosphere of equality and respect,” said the letter, signed by the leaders of France, Germany, Italy and Spain, among others.
Hungary was not mentioned by name, but many of the same leaders signed a letter earlier this week backed by 17 countries calling on von der Leyen’s commission, which watches over the respect of EU laws, to take the government in Budapest to the European Court of Justice over the bill.
The commission has already taken the first step in legal action. On Wednesday, Brussels sent a letter to Hungary’s justice minister seeking “clarifications, explanation and information” about elements of the bill.
It said that some provisions appear to “directly violate the prohibition of discrimination based on sex and on sexual orientation,” and would put homosexuality, sex change and divergence from self-identity “on the same footing as pornography.”
Asked Thursday about the Hungarian bill, Guterres said “all forms of discrimination are totally unacceptable and obviously any form of discrimination in relation to LGBTQ+ people are totally unacceptable.”
Speaking after a meeting with Guterres, EU Parliament president David Sassoli said a mechanism making payouts to Hungary from a COVID-19 recovery fund conditional to the respect of the rule of law should be activated.
“The time has come now for the law to get applied,” Sassoli said.
At a news conference in Budapest on Thursday, Orban’s chief of staff Gergely Gulyas rejected criticisms of the law and calls for its repeal, insisting it was in line with EU regulations.
“We don’t think any corrections are needed, the law is fine as it is. But of course we are ready for any discussion with the Commission,” Gulyas said.
Gulyas said that Hungarian ambassadors had delivered a message to the foreign ministries of all the signatory countries which alleged that “the governments of several member states have launched an unfounded attack on Hungary.”
___
Mark Carlson in Brussels and Mike Corder in The Hague contributed. Spike reported from Budapest.
NPR’s Noel King talks to Director Heidi Ewing and actor Armando Espitia about their film Te Llevo Conmigo or I Carry You With Me. It’s also a story about what the two men left behind in Mexico.
STEVE INSKEEP, HOST:
Fifteen years ago, the filmmaker Heidi Ewing struck up a conversation with two men in a wine bar in New York City. Ivan and Gerardo were their names. They were from Mexico. They came to the U.S. to find the American dream. They lived openly as gay men. Ivan became a restaurant owner. Ewing, the filmmaker, made a movie about them, “Te Llevo Conmigo” – or “I Carry You With Me.” It’s a love story and also the story of what they left behind, Ivan’s best friend, who crossed the border with him and then went back to Mexico, and Ivan’s son still in Mexico. Noel King spoke earlier with the director, Heidi Ewing, and also with actor Armando Espitia, who plays Ivan.
NOEL KING, HOST:
Armando, how did you learn about the role of Ivan? And what appealed to you about it?
ARMANDO ESPITIA: I think, in a way, our lives are kind of similar. First of all because we’re both gay men growing up in Mexico. Being a kid from a community like mine and having a big dream, like being an actor, is not very realistic sometimes. But I had to work, like, hard, as I assume Ivan did. And in a way, I like to think that one day I’m going to be as successful as Ivan.
KING: In the film, you’re playing a gay man in the 1990s in Puebla, Mexico, where there is very real and sometimes dangerous homophobia. As you played this role, did you find yourself thinking, wow, things have really changed here a lot? It’s not dangerous to be a gay man anymore. We don’t face this kind of discrimination anymore. Or did you find yourself thinking more, wow, not as much has changed as we would like?
ESPITIA: It hasn’t been easy because I have to face kind of a lot of challenges to accept myself and to have the life that I have now. But even with it, I feel like I’ve been privileged. But there’s some other people that are not because of the place that they live or their families. I bet it’s the same in every country. So I don’t like when people get the idea that Mexico is what we are portraying in the movie in the ’90s because it’s different. And just having this movie out in theaters in Mexico and making this movie in Mexico tells a lot about how Mexico is dealing with these issues.
HEIDI EWING: For me, there’s a lot of nuance in the film because even though you see the conflict at times verging on violent between fathers and their gay sons, you also see tenderness, confusion and ignorance that’s driving the anger of the fathers. So – you know, there really are no villains or heroes in this movie when it comes to the issue of homophobia. It’s a very, very complicated subject matter. And we really tried to approach it with compassion and nuance.
KING: There was a scene that struck our team where Ivan and his friend Sandra are now in the United States. And they are reflecting on the things they have. And he says to her, my mom saw your mom driving around in a new car. So we assume that they are sending money back home. And that’s very good for their families. And then Sandra says to him, my mother is miserable. And I am miserable because we’re not together. And it’s not even a new car. It’s, like, a 12-year-old Camry.
(LAUGHTER)
KING: Heidi, I would say that the relationship between those two friends in this film is as strong as the love story. I really felt that. Can you talk about what the two of them represent in this movie and what they say about the American dream, in your view?
EWING: The friendship between Sandra and Ivan is extremely profound. They’ve set out together on this – what they perceive is going to be a great adventure. They’re leaving, you know, the past behind. As Ivan says in the movie, the American dream occurs in slow motion. I mean, he came in 2000. He opened his first restaurant in 2010 – so much sweat, so many hours. And so what they represent is the reality of so many people that come here. Many, many people do succeed like Ivan. But what Sandra – what that conversation that you’re describing reflects is the high, high price that is paid to achieve that dream. For her, no vale la pena – it’s now worth it. And for him, he’s not so sure. Ivan is proud. And he’s determined. And he’s not going to go home until he succeeds. And then, of course, 20 years go by. And he has his success, but he’s still here.
KING: Armando, can I ask for your thoughts on that scene and, more broadly, as a young man from Mexico, on this idea of the American dream and coming here to find something?
ESPITIA: First, I want to say something more about the relationship between them.
KING: Please, please.
ESPITIA: I was thinking that it’s beautiful how they discover everything together since the beginning, since they were kids. Literally, they discover the world together and, like, the fear together of crossing the border. And everything that they do together, it’s beautiful. And I like to say that as – almost every gay man has an ally in a girl friend. And then, growing up in Mexico – in Ixtapaluca (ph) more precisely (laughter) – you understand very early in your life that the people that has more opportunities or possibilities to get an education or other things in life are the people who has family in the U.S. and can send you money. Where I grew up, it is like that. The families that have money is because their father’s living in America, probably undocumented. And I can clearly understand, like, why people dreams with the American dream.
KING: I want to ask lastly about the cost, because this film very poignantly depicts the cost. And that is, Heidi, the real Ivan spent 20 years in the United States without being able to see his child, his son. He couldn’t risk going back to Mexico and not being allowed back in the United States. In real life, what is their relationship like now? Do they have one?
EWING: He still hasn’t seen his son, who’s now 26 years old.
KING: Oh.
EWING: And he thinks about it every day. They talk every day. There’s texting. Sometimes there’s FaceTiming (ph). He’s helping him mount a small business now in Oaxaca. And he’s living a little bit in a loop. The movie starts and ends the same way. And there’s a reason for that. He’s dreaming about going back to Mexico but realizes if he leaves here, he can’t come back. And that’s the dilemma. And it continues until this very moment.
KING: The film “I Carry You With Me” opens in New York and Los Angeles on June 25. And it opens in theaters across the country on July 2. Heidi and Armando, thank you so much for being with us. We really do appreciate your time.
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SOUTH KINGSTOWN — Magnolia Longworth is 16 and she’s not afraid of anything. Not homophobic slurs, not death threats, not the judgment of an often unfeeling world.
Longworth, a junior at South Kingstown High School, and her friend, Evan Travis, a sophomore, have organized the first PRIDE event in South Kingstown, which will kick off with a car parade in Wakefield at 3 p.m. Thursday, followed by a march from Wakefield Elementary School to Main Street and a short speaking program.
More than 200 people have expressed interest in attending the event, which will include food vendors, family activities and entertainment. The event is co-sponsored by the Collective, a nonprofit activist organization, and the Wakefield Village Association.
Longworth, who identifies as bisexual, came out in eighth grade. Her parents were nothing but supportive, which may account for her courage today.
“I always thought I was weird, that no one would ever love me,” she said Wednesday. “My parents told me, ‘If you’re gay, we love you, no matter what.’ They’re so proud of me.”
At the time, her little brother Henry (who is now 12) asked her, “So you like girls?” and Magnolia said, “Yes,” and he said, “I like girls, too.”
“I remember growing up I had a gay cousin who was always voicing his opinions on gay rights,” she said. “He inspired me. I wanted the world to change and everyone to be who they are.”
While Magnolia had unqualified support at home, it wasn’t always the case in the outside world. She has been harassed and taunted at school, although she said the high school has become more gay friendly in recent years.
She remembers holding hands with a girl while walking home and having teenagers taunt her and call her homophobic names.
“I definitely think we need PRIDE to show the community that we are here, that you can’t use that against us. We take pride in being gay.”
Still, Magnolia was unprepared for the hateful comments posted to a town Facebook page while she was promoting the PRIDE event.
“I was facing death threats from adults,” she said. “They were saying that gays should go to hell and that I’m confused about my sexuality. I’m turning 17 next week and grown adults are yelling at me. I was terrified to go on Facebook. I was really scared.”
But she didn’t back down and the administrator for the page took down the comments.
“I think the one thing I learned from this experience was I’m not ashamed of who I am,” Magnolia said. “I have an entire community backing me up. There is more love than hate.“
Magnolia’s mother, Terri Longworth, said her daughter has been a fighter since she was young.
“She has never hesitated to do the right thing, to stand up and protect people,” Longworth said.
In eighth grade, Magnolia received the Gandhi Award from the University of Rhode Island’s Center for Non-Violence. She was honored because she collected a ton of food for the Johnnycake food pantry in South Kingstown.
“I do want to say Evan had a big part in this event,” Longworth said. “I am super proud of her. Even through the hate, she never let it bring her down.”
Today, 70 percent of Americans support same-sex marriage. But on June 24, 2011, when the New York Legislature passed the state’s marriage equality measure, only 46 percent did, barely surpassing the 45 percent who opposed the right of gay couples to wed.
Five years earlier, in 2006, the New York Court of Appeals had determined the state constitution did not guarantee same-sex couples the right to marry. That left advocates with only a legislative remedy.
Failed attempts to pass marriage equality measures in 2007 and 2009, however, left supporters deflated.
Christine Quinn, an out lesbian who served as speaker of the New York City Council during both attempts, said the 2009 defeat in the state Senate felt “like the rug had been pulled out from under us.”
“It was so personally painful and so, really not to be dramatic, but devastating,” Quinn said. “And it gave strength to the other side. New York is seen as a progressive state … so us not having marriage equality, it made a great excuse for other states not to do it.”
Then came 2011: Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo was sworn into office in January after making same-sex marriage a key plank in his campaign.
“Previously, we had Gov. [Eliot] Spitzer, and he kind of crashed and burned. Then we had Gov. [David] Paterson, and he had no political juice,” Assembly Member Daniel O’Donnell, who introduced five marriage bills over four years, said. “Then we get Cuomo: Here was a guy who was willing to make marriage a priority.”
Cuomo had first publicly supported same-sex marriage when he successfully ran for attorney general in 2006.
“I don’t want to be the governor who just fights for marriage equality,” he told attendees at an Empire State Pride Agenda dinner in fall 2010, the Observer reported then. “I want to be the governor who signs the law that makes equality a reality in the state of New York. And we’re going to get that done together.”
Attempting a ‘herculean feat’
On Jan. 5, 2011, in his first State of the State address, Cuomo promised same-sex marriage legislation would pass that year. With that mandate, activists got to work: The Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBTQ advocacy group, partnered with Freedom to Marry, a national organization, and Empire State Pride Agenda, a statewide LGBTQ group, to form New Yorkers United for Marriage, an umbrella group laser-focused on getting legislation passed. They targeted regions across the state, from the Hudson Valley to the Capital Region, to garner support from constituents.
“We built this huge campaign over time, over six months,” David Contreras Turley, then-associate regional field director at HRC, told City and State New York in 2019. “We ended up harnessing about 125,000 constituent contacts for what I know is one of the largest grassroots campaigns in terms of numbers, especially in the LGBT civil rights movement.”
The time was right, but advocates knew they had to strategize differently. Not only had they lost in New York in 2009, but that same year a same-sex marriage bill signed into law in Maine was overturned in a voter referendum.
“We had the opposite of momentum,” said Brian Ellner, who left then-Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s office in 2011 to help lead New Yorkers for Marriage Equality. “No one thought that we could get it done with a Senate that was controlled by Republicans. They didn’t even think the Senate majority leader would bring it to a vote. And we needed to find four Republican yeses, two years after we lost in a Senate that was controlled by Democrats? It was quite a herculean feat.”
For O’Donnell, one of six openly LGBTQ lawmakers serving in the state Legislature at the time, the way to win was to make it more personal: Previously, he said, state Sen. Tom Duane, Assembly Member Deborah Glick and other gay legislators had kept their partners out of politics.
“I knew that that wasn’t going to work,” O’Donnell said. “If I wanted my colleagues to see John and I as part of a couple that deserves equal rights, I had to show them my relationship.”
Daniel J. O’Donnell, democratic member of the New York State Assembly, left, kisses his husband John Banta, right, as supporters of same-sex marriage rally on Christopher Street after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and declined to rule on the California law Proposition 8 in New York, on June 26, 2013.Michael Nagle / Bloomberg via Getty Images file
O’Donnell and his now-husband, John Banta, met on the first day of classes at Catholic University in 1978 and began dating two years later.
“I brought John around to a much greater degree than my colleagues had,” he recalled. Banta, the director of special events for the Metropolitan Opera, was a name on his own, and the pair made something of a power couple in Albany.
“It didn’t hurt that he was tall, thin and good looking,” O’Donnell joked. “But, more importantly, he was there, and people saw it as voting against us, rather than just voting against an issue.”
Duane also decided to start bringing his then-partner to Albany more often.
Preaching to the unconverted
They worked diligently to garner Republican support because they didn’t want marriage equality to become a party-line issue, “even though in my heart I knew it clearly was going to be,” O’Donnell said. He also sent weekly letters to his colleagues, with appeals coming from many different angles.
“One might be a poll, one was a letter from a California state senator who went from a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ and got re-elected anyway,” he recalled. “One was a letter from Mildred Loving — who was, of course, the plaintiff in Loving v. Virginia, which took down anti-miscegenation laws at the Supreme Court — saying this is the same thing. We went around and around pivoting from the moral issue, to the legal issue, to the political issue, to try to give people enough cover to feel that they could vote for it.”
At the end of each letter, O’Donnell wrote, “John and I thank you for taking the time to consider this.”
For Ellner, a new approach meant reaching a new audience and changing the message.
“We couldn’t just talk in an echo chamber if we wanted to convert people to the cause,” he said. “At the time, support for marriage equality was barely at 50 percent in New York, I think, and we really wanted to get it to a majority, if not supermajority, before the vote.”
On March 9, 2011, Cuomo held a meeting with legislators, lobbyists and other major players inside the Capitol’s Red Room. After the disastrous 2009 vote, he wanted to be certain they weren’t working at cross purposes.
“He called a bunch of us to Albany to have a meeting about all of us who were working to get this done, to make sure we were aligned and coordinated,” Ellner recalled. “He made it very clear that this was a very, very high priority for him, if not his top priority that session. I don’t think he could have leaned in any harder to use all of his popularity and his influence.”
What many people don’t understand, O’Donnell said, is that “part of New York is more like Ohio” than New York City.
“We have very rural areas, we have very poor areas, we have some beautiful places. It’s a wonderful place to visit, but it’s not all liberal New York City people,” he said.
As he lobbied for the bill, O’Donnell said, “many senators said to me privately, ‘I think it’s the right thing to do, but my voters won’t tolerate it.’”
Ellner said he had senators, both Democrats and Republicans, telling him they needed to hear from their constituents that there was support. Legislators claimed that, in 2009, voter contacts “were running something like 3 to 1, or even 4 to 1, against marriage,” Ellner said.
So New Yorkers for Marriage Equality launched an enormous field effort with volunteers working across districts — knocking on doors, standing outside supermarkets — to talk to constituents and get postcards signed.
“When you talk to these senators, it’s about voter contact from within the district,” Ellner said. “They don’t care about a national email petition. They don’t care that Brian Ellner from Chelsea wrote to a senator upstate. They want to hear from their constituents, either by phone or preferably by mail. The mail gets counted and weighed, and that has a huge impact, because many politicians are focused on survival.”
Ellner said his team would get intelligence about a senator they had a shot at winning over, and then they would flood that lawmaker’s district with workers to get signatures.
“And if we heard that someone was definitely a ‘no,’ we would move everyone out of that district and into another one,” Ellner said. “We had really dedicated young people throughout the state who were couch surfing.”
That was the less glamorous part of the campaign, he admitted, “but there was no way we were going to let these senators hear more ‘nays’ than ‘yeas.’”
New Yorkers for Marriage Equality also launched a massive video campaign, with famous New Yorkers making the case for same-sex marriage. Directed by documentarian Annie Sundberg (“Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work”), the videos featured celebrities (Julianne Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Anna Wintour), athletes (New York Ranger Sean Avery and Michael Strahan of the Giants) and establishment types (Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman Sachs and police Commissioner William Bratton).
“We really wanted to broaden the support and show that there was widespread support across all different communities,” said Ellner, who knew Sundberg from Dartmouth College. “We just wanted this drumbeat of constant positivity, especially toward the end of the session when the legislature really slows down and there’s all kinds of deal-making going on. And frankly, we didn’t want to give the media the opportunity to write negative stories — to say that this was being derailed.”
Advocates turned up the heat on state senators, pressing their friends, relatives, even their rabbis, to track their vote and bring them to a “yes.”
But the clock was ticking. Cuomo had made his declaration in January and called everyone together in March. By late May a bill still hadn’t come forward, and the session ended in June.
Finally, on June 13, 2011, three Democratic state senators who had opposed same-sex marriage in 2009 — Joseph Addabbo Jr., Shirley Huntley and Carl Kruger — announced they would vote “yes” this time.
The final countdown
The Marriage Equality Act was introduced in the Assembly on June 14, and the following day, it passed the chamber 80 to 63. Though a healthy margin, it was a smaller one than the 2009 measure enjoyed.
A vote in the Senate was delayed while Cuomo negotiated with Republican leadership. For more than a week, thousands rallied outside the Capitol on both sides of the issue.
Finally, on June 24, the last day of the legislative session, Republican state Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos announced that “same sex marriage legislation will be brought to the full Senate for an up or down vote.”
O’Donnell and Banta went to the Senate floor to watch the proceedings.
“The Capitol was entirely filled with people, so it’s hot as hell, and there are thousands of people on the stairways, in the hallways, everywhere,” O’Donnell said. “As each vote was taken, John was there. All my colleagues knew who he was. He was sitting in the audience, and many of the senators knew who he was. So we’re standing on the back of the floor of the Senate, and people are walking up to him and I and giving us both hugs and kisses.”
The vote was a nail-biter till the end, O’Donnell said — a rarity in Albany, where most bills don’t come to the floor unless passage is practically guaranteed.
State Sen. Stephen Saland of Poughkeepsie, a Republican who voted against same-sex marriage in 2009, announced he would vote “yes” the same day the bill came to the Senate floor.
“I have defined doing the right thing as treating all persons with equality,” he said during the debate on the measure. “That equality includes the definition of marriage. I fear that to do otherwise would fly in the face of my upbringing.”
‘All New Yorkers are equal under the law’
Late in the evening of June 24, 2011, the Marriage Equality Act passed the GOP-controlled Senate 33 to 29, with all Democrats and four Republicans voting in its favor. Cuomo signed it into law the same night at five minutes to midnight.
“With the world watching, the Legislature, by a bipartisan vote, has said that all New Yorkers are equal under the law,” Cuomo said in a statement. “With this vote, marriage equality will become a reality in our state, delivering long overdue fairness and legal security to thousands of New Yorkers.”
Gov. Andrew Cuomo signs the Marriage Equality Act, with Harry Bronson, Matthew Titone, Daniel O’Donnell, Bob Duffy, Tom Duane and James Alesi, on June 24, 2011.Judy Sanders / Office of Andrew M. Cuomo
The New York Marriage Equality Act amended New York’s Domestic Relations Law to affirm that “no government treatment or legal status, effect, right, benefit, privilege, protection or responsibility relating to marriage shall differ based on the parties to the marriage being the same sex or a different sex.”
Quinn, who was in City Hill at the time trying to pass the city’s budget, remembers getting word during a press conference with Bloomberg. A staffer gestured wildly from the sidelines with a giant thumbs up.
“Oh God, as a New Yorker, it just made me so proud,” Quinn said, “and gratified that, finally, a discriminatory fact had been erased from the record. It meant a lot. It’s hard to hold your head up higher as a New Yorker, because we’re a pretty arrogant group, but I felt I could hold my head up higher.”
Ellner, who was in Albany as the vote was taken, said his only regret was not celebrating at the Stonewall Inn with the thousands of LGBTQ people and allies who had gathered there.
“It was kind of bittersweet to see it on CNN,” he said. “But, no, honestly, it was amazing.”
Banta stayed with O’Donnell in Albany that night, then the two returned to New York City the following morning. It was gay Pride weekend, and they marched in the parade with O’Donnell’s 5-year-old nephew.
“He told all his friends he was going to ‘Uncle Danny’s parade,’” O’Donnell said. “Literally, when the march would stop moving, people would chant my name on Fifth Avenue. But really, there was such a sense of euphoria — and relief.”
‘It felt miraculous’
The New York Marriage Equality Act took effect Sunday, July 24, 2011, and couples started getting married that same day.
One of them was Jonathan Thompson and Jonathan Polansky, who got married at the Queens courthouse in Forest Hills, after dating since 2002.
“We’d been together so long at that point that once the vote happened, we just sort of looked at each other and said, ‘So, we’re doing this, right?’” Thompson said.
It wasn’t a big romantic gesture, he said, but they were acutely aware of how monumental the moment was.
“It had been such a long push for marriage in New York, and we’d all been disappointed so many times before,” Thompson said. “When the bill actually passed — and during Pride Month, no less — it felt miraculous. There was just this communal feeling of emotion, and we just wanted to be a part of it.”
That wasn’t the only reason, though.
“If I’m being honest, I was also a little distrustful,” he said. “We wanted to do it right away, before anyone could take it away.”
The city had initially announced a lottery for the first day — Thompson and Polansky applied and won. Then officials decided to let everyone who had entered the lottery get a marriage license.
“So it ended up being a big, huge event,” Thompson said. “I remember it was extremely hot. We wanted to dress up, but it was stifling. So, we just went with business casual.”
It was a Sunday, when normally the courthouse would have been closed. But clerks and judges volunteered to work that day.
“Just to know that everyone there was rooting for us was a monumental thing,” Thompson said. “We took a number and sat in the waiting area, where we ran into some friends who were volunteers. Everyone there was talking to each other and taking pictures. It was definitely a sense of community and excitement.”
As a council member, Quinn didn’t have the power to perform ceremonies, but she was determined everything would go smoothly.
“My office, the speaker’s office, asserted itself into the full planning process,” she said. “I went to four of the five boroughs to congratulate and meet people who were getting married and also to thank the council staff that were there. I’ll never forget this one intern we had that summer. … He was holding up this huge sign that said, ‘This way to photos.’ Just the joy on his face and the joy of the people who were following him. I told him it looked like he was leading a parade.”
She recalled seeing City Clerk Mike McSweeney conducting the first ceremony in Manhattan, for Connie Kopelov, 85, and Phyllis Siegel, 76. The women had met in the mid-1980s volunteering with SAGE, an advocacy group for LGBTQ older adults.
Phyllis Siegel, right, kisses her wife, Connie Kopelov, after exchanging vows at the Manhattan City Clerk’s Office with New York City Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn in attendance, back left, on July 24, 2011.Michael Appleton / Pool via Getty Images file
“It was magical,” Quinn said. “It was really, like, you couldn’t believe that a law, which on some level is just a piece of paper, could have such an impact. But it did — and it has.”
Everything had happened so fast that the offices of the city clerk hadn’t even had time to change its paperwork.
“The forms still had ‘man’ and ‘woman’ on it,” Thompson said. “It wasn’t embarrassing, though. It was amusing. It was nice. It was this feeling of, ‘We’re not gonna wait to fix it; let’s just get going, and we’ll all figure it out as we go.’ That was exciting.”
More than 800 couples registered to get married in New York City that first day alone, according to The Associated Press.
“People were booking flights to New York to get married,” O’Donnell said. “We didn’t have a residency requirement, so anybody could come here from anywhere in the world and get a marriage license and bring it back to where they’re from.”
‘Tremendous momentum’
For O’Donnell, the writing was now on the wall for federal marriage equality. Vermont, New Hampshire and the District of Columbia had already passed marriage laws legislatively, but New York was by far the largest state.
“Even in places like Mississippi or Alabama, at some point they were going to have a problem with the full faith and credit clause of the Constitution if they say, ‘We’ll accept straight marriages from New York but not gay ones.’” he said. “So it was coming.”
Ellner recalled “tremendous momentum” among activists coming out of the victory in New York.
“It felt like it was a matter of time,” he said. “It all shifted radically and so quickly. It was really the velocity that was surprising, but we felt, ‘As New York goes, so goes the nation.’”
A group walks down Fifth Avenue during the New York City gay pride march on June 26, 2011.Stan Honda / AFP via Getty Images file
It wasn’t a bloodless victory, though: The four Republican state senators who crossed the aisle to support the bill all were out of office within the next few years.
In September 2012, Sen. Roy McDonald, who represented conservative Saratoga County, was defeated in a Republican primary by Kathy Marchione. During the race, Marchione questioned McDonald’s conservative bona fides, claiming he backed same-sex marriage to secure campaign donations.
“I could have found an easier way to get re-elected,” McDonald countered during a primary debate, insisting he supported the bill as “a human being that cared.”
“You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn’t black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing,” he told reporters. “You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, f— it, I don’t care what you think. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
But an undeniable tipping point had been reached: In 2012, Maine, Maryland and Washington all enacted same-sex marriage measures at the ballot, and, for the first time ever, the Democratic National Convention adopted a political platform endorsing same-sex marriage. That May, then-Vice President Joe Biden came out in favor of same-sex marriage, quickly followed by President Barack Obama.
The following year, a key part of the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down by the Supreme Court, and nine more states recognized same-sex marriage — five through legislation (Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota, Hawaii and Illinois).
“We showed that you could do it,” O’Donnell said of New York’s LGBTQ advocates. “I offered to help anybody out there who wanted to know how to do it, because it takes work. In the House, I flirted with some colleagues, I threatened others. I promised every single one of them if they voted ‘yes’ that I would invite them to my wedding, which I did — our wedding had 450 people at it. They all came.”
O’Donnell said he had toyed with getting married on that first day, but July 24 was Banta’s birthday, “and I didn’t need to be the first,” he said.
The pair married on Jan. 29, 2012, at Guastavino’s in Manhattan, with both Democratic and Republican legislators, the state comptroller, Lt. Gov. Robert Duffy and Cuomo all in attendance.
“If you’ve never thought you could get married, you never spend any time thinking about what your wedding would be,” O’Donnell said. “The two things that I wanted were a wedding cake and an actual honeymoon. So we had our wedding, we had our cake and then we went to Paris.”
Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi on Wednesday rebuffed Vatican criticism of a bill against homophobia, stressing that the country is “a secular state”.
The text on “measures to prevent and combat discrimination and violence on the grounds of sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and disability” was approved by the Chamber of Deputies in November. It is currently being debated in the Senate.
In a highly unusual diplomatic “note verbale” delivered to Italy on June 17, the Vatican objected to the formulation of the bill.
In an address to senators on Wednesday, Draghi stressed that Italy is “a secular state, not a confessional state so Parliament is certainly free to debate and legislate.”
“Our legal system contains all the guarantees to ensure that laws always respect constitutional principles and international commitments, including the Concordat with the Church.”
“Secularism is not the indifference of the State to the religious phenomenon, secularism is the protection of pluralism and cultural diversity,” he added.
The technocratic leader also flagged that Italy had been among the European Union member states to condemn recent anti-LGBT laws in Hungary in a joint statement.
The Vatican note stated that some parts of the text contravene a Concordat in force between Italy and the Holy See, because they “reduce the freedom of the Catholic Church” in terms of organisation and exercise of worship, as well as “the full freedom” of expression and thought granted to faithful and to Catholic associations.
The bill, introduced by Alessandro Zan, a lawmaker from the centre-left Democratic Party, does not exempt Italian Catholic schools from an obligation to participate in activities for the national day against homophobia, which will be set on May 17.
Zan welcomed Draghi’s “excellent” words on Twitter, writing: “Now it is up to the Senate to approve a law that puts Italy in the Europe of rights, distancing itself from the discriminatory and shameful model of [Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor] Orban, without wasting any more time.”
Italy and the Holy See normalised their relations with the Lateran Agreement in 1929, after sixty years of crisis. They include a Concordat that was revised in 1984 to put an end to the special status of the Catholic religion, which is no longer the state religion in Italy.
Loki is one of the most enchanting characters in the ‘MCU.’ The style and charisma of Tom Hiddleston’s performance as the Asgardian God of Mischief have captivated the audience for the better part of a decade. Despite perishing in the events of ‘Avengers: Infinity War,’ an alternate timeline version of Loki is headlining his solo series that has been breaking new ground both on and off the screen.
Created by Michael Waldron, ‘Loki’ follows the eponymous character as he works with the Time Variance Authority to track down another version of himself (or so it seems), who is hell-bent on wreaking havoc. Along the course, we get to learn a few intimate details about Loki’s life, and some light has been shed on the character’s sexuality. So what does Loki identify as? Here’s everything we know so far!
What is Loki’s Sexuality?
Loki’s arc in his solo series is poised to be drastically different from the one we have seen him on in his previous appearances. It is clear from the get-go that Loki is on a journey of self-discovery, and both the audience and the character are constantly learning new details about who he truly is.
One’s sexuality is a huge part of one’s identity, and considering the journey Loki is on, the show addressing his sexuality was only a matter of time. However, there’s always more than what meets the eye when it comes to Loki, and the character’s sexuality is no different.
While members of the LGBTQ+ community will find a source of accurate representation in the form of Loki, others who are unaware of the delicate understandings of sexual orientations may find Loki’s sexuality a tad bit confusing. In the third episode of ‘Loki,’ titled ‘Lamentis,’ Loki and a presumed Time Variant of his who refers to herself as Sylvie inadvertently find themselves on the doomed planet of Lamentis-1.
As the planet is about to be destroyed, the two face a race against time to get off the planet. In the process, a conversation confirms that Loki is a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Still, his exact sexual identity is left unclear, which opens up three possible options: Loki either identifies as gay, bisexual, or pansexual. However, Loki says that he is (sexually) attracted to both males and females. That means he is probably not gay. Pansexual is generally used by someone who is attracted to a person irrespective of their gender. Bisexual refers to a person attracted to members of the same sex and opposite sex.
As per our understanding of sexual orientations, Loki’s words hint at him being bisexual. However, it has already been confirmed that Loki is gender fluid in the ‘MCU.’ That means that his sexual orientation can change over time, and he may have been gay or be pansexual in the past or future (don’t look at us! it’s time travel). For now, it would be safe to say that Loki is the first openly bisexual character in the ‘MCU.’ The reveal coming during Pride Month is another example of Marvel Studios’ commitment to creating diverse characters. The normality and smoothness with which the revelation of Loki’s sexual orientation was handled are admirable. Kudos to the show’s creative team!
Police are trying to find how the man got access to Covishield vaccines which were used at the centre and are also trying to find if the vaccines were authentic or fake.
A man pretending to be an IAS officer allegedly organised a ‘fake’ Covid-19 vaccination drive in Kolkata’s New Market area, was arrested on Wednesday after Trinamool Congress leader and Lok Sabha MP Mimi Chakraborty alerted the police after taking the jab at the camp. Chakraborty said she received a message that the vaccination drive was launched by the joint commissioner of Kolkata Municipal Commission for transgender and differently-abled people. In an attempt to inspire people to get vaccinated, she went to the camp and even got vaccinated herself. However, when she received no SMS or vaccine certificate, she felt something off about the drive.
“It struck me when I did not receive the message that beneficiaries receive after their vaccination. I also asked for my vaccination certificate which they said I would receive within some time. I immediately asked my office to enquire if people present at the site received registration messages, to which the people present said that they have not received any such message,” Chakraborty told Hindustan Times.
Following this, the actor-politician stopped the vaccination drive and helped the police arrest the man identified Debanjan Deb. Police were able to recover a fake ID card as well as hand sanitizers and masks which had the logo of Kolkata’s civic authority.
As the investigation continues, police are trying to find how the man got access to Covishield vaccines which were used at the centre and are also trying to find if the vaccines were authentic or fake. ANI quoted the Kolkata Police saying, “We haven’t come across any vial having an expiry date. Seized vials will be sent for testing to find out if they are genuine or not. The accused will be interrogated in this regard.”
The Union Health Ministry said on Wednesday that India’s cumulative COVID-19 vaccination coverage has crossed the 30 crore mark and as per the provisional report, the total figure was 30,09,69,538.
June is Pride Month, when we come together to celebrate the LGBTQ+ communities and mark the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which began in June 1969.
While most of the big parades and parties that usually happen during the summer have been scaled back due to the coronavirus pandemic, you can still show your support and get glammed up with fashion and beauty buys that donate to supporting charities. Here’s our pick of the best Pride purchases…
Sales of the six shampoos and conditioners in the OGX Love Collection will raise funds for the LGBT Foundation Women’s Programme.
Warehouse X Bee Illustrates Pride T-Shirt
2. Warehouse X Bee Illustrates Pride T-Shirt, £25
Warehouse has teamed up with artist Bee Illustrates to create two Pride T-shirts featuring empowering slogans, with 100% of proceeds going to LGBTQ+ charity Mermaids.
Cara Delevingne wearing the Puma Pride Tee
3. Puma Pride Tee, £25
Puma has teamed up with model and activist Cara Delevingne for a second Pride sportswear collection. Called Forever Free, the range will donate 20% of proceeds to the Cara Delevingne Foundation (part of the Giving Back Fund), which will be used to support LGBTQ+ charities around the world.
Matalan X NSPCC Love is Limitless Pride Bag For Life
4. Matalan X NSPCC Love is Limitless Pride Bag For Life, £5
All proceeds from Matalan’s ‘Love is Limitless’ slogan tote bag will be donated to the NSPCC. The charity’s Childline service supports children with issues around coming out and bullying.
Choose Love Tie-Dye T-Shirt Pink
5. Choose Love Tie-Dye T-Shirt Pink, £30
To celebrate Pride Month, charity Choose Love (formerly Help Refugees) has teamed up with fashion designer and activist Katharine Hamnett on a range of T-shirts and totes, with profits going to help LGBTQ+ refugees.
Lottie London Stamp Liner: Love Edition Heart
6. Lottie London Stamp Liner: Love Edition – Heart, £5.95
Lottie London has revamped three of its fan favourite stamp liners for Pride Month, with 50% of profits from the sale of the heart, butterfly and smiley face stamps going to The Kaleidoscope Trust.
This year, Pretty Little Thing is raising funds for the Albert Kennedy Trust, the charity that helps LGBTQ+ young people who are facing or experiencing homelessness, with two unisex T-shirts in black and white.
Primark Black Neon Hero Print Short Sleeve Shirt
8. Primark Black Neon Hero Print Short Sleeve Shirt, £9
Primark’s 36-piece Feeling Proud fashion collection caters for kids, grown-ups and even pets (thanks to an adorable dog coat) and the retailer will be donating £150,000 to ILGA World, a global federation that campaigns for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and intersex human rights.
Nasty Gal Pride Graphic T-Shirt
9. Nasty Gal Pride Graphic T-Shirt, £9.80 (was £14)
With T-shirts emblazoned with sassy slogans, and celebrating gay icons like Elton John and Freddie Mercury, Nasty Gal’s Pride collection will help you fly the flag in style. This year, the brand is making a donation to Outright Action International, the organisation that works to combat the systemic violence, persecution and discrimination that LGBTQ+ people face.
Frazer Riley created Queer Surf Club with the aim of challenging attitudes within the sport
It should have been a fun surfing break in Morocco. But Frazer Riley spent the trip having to hide who he really was.
And he decided he was going to do something about it.
Born into a family of watersports enthusiasts, Riley had spent his childhood holidays chasing the waves – and felt a trip abroad with his boyfriend was the perfect time to learn how to surf properly.
A day before travelling to Morocco, they discovered a problem.
“We didn’t realise that it’s illegal to be gay in the country we were going to,” Riley remembers.
“We had to pretend to be cousins. So I was doing this incredible sport that I loved so much – but at the same time, I was worrying about whether I was cheering camply or coming across as effeminate when I was falling off the board.
“My experience of learning to surf was of hiding my true identity, and I never wanted another queer person to feel like that.”
‘They said we’d given them hope – that moment was unreal’
‘The issue with surf culture is that there’s a very singular, homogenous story on what it is to be a surfer,’ says Riley
That trip helped inspire Riley to create Queer Surf Club, which celebrated its first birthday this month.
Its goal is to provide a space where LGBTQ+ surfers from around the world can be themselves, in and out of the water.
Initially, Riley wasn’t sure how it would be received.
“I was so embarrassed even sharing the idea with my boyfriend,” he says.
“But then I just jumped in – obviously having an idea of what I thought it could be, but not expecting the reaction it’s had so far.
“I remember getting my first direct message from an individual in Australia. They weren’t out, but they knew they’d been gay for a certain amount of years.
“They’d never believed they could be their real self in surfing, but said we’d given them hope. And I realised that even if we’d just helped that one person be comfortable with who they are, it’s enough.”
‘I believe surf culture is on the cusp of changing’
Queer Surf Club is celebrating its first anniversary during June
Since the launch of Queer Surf Club, Riley has received dozens of similar messages from right around the world – including from people who are opening up about their experiences for the first time.
So why have some LGBTQ+ surfers felt unable to be themselves in a sport that seems to have such a laid-back, easy-going image?
“Obviously, I can’t answer on behalf of every single surfer,” Riley says.
“There are incredible individuals out there who are welcoming and inclusive. But the issue with surf culture is that there’s a very singular, homogenous story on what it is to be a surfer, from how you surf to riding shortboards to what you wear.
“That image is generally cis-gendered, straight white men who are athletic and able-bodied – and that narrative has perpetuated surf culture since conception, almost.
“Now, I truly believe we’re on the cusp of changing. Surfers are waking up and looking around them and seeing who is present and who isn’t.”
‘There are people in surfing who don’t have the confidence to be themselves’
Starting the club in a pandemic has been challenging. But earlier in June, dozens of surfers from across the UK came to Devon for its first official event.
Other meet-ups are planned for later in the year – but for Riley, the power of that first one is going to be hard to top.
“We had a big ‘Queer Surf Club’ flag on the beach, a big old gay flag with our logo on it,” he says.
“We actually had a local dad come up to us and thank us for being there and flying that flag as a symbol of our presence.
“There are people still out there in surfing who don’t have the confidence to be themselves.
“So to see people there and building a community was so joyful and so much fun. It was a gift, really, to see what something can be.”
Sometimes politicians carefully choose a title or shorthand for a law or policy in a way that fires up their base and makes it awkward for opponents to get their message out.
Think of the recently-adopted EU regulation on “Terrorist Content”, often referred to as #TERREG on social media.
Digital rights groups, including Liberties, criticised the proposal because its provisions are so sweeping that it is likely to muzzle free speech and public debate over the internet.
But every time an NGO criticised the proposal for its foreseeable shortcomings, we almost automatically had to distract from our message by adding the qualifier that we support the fight against terrorism.
Rather than focusing our messaging on how the internet is key to democracy, activists ended up repeating the EU’s framing that this law would combat terrorism while defending ourselves for protecting free speech.
The label given to the proposal is deliberate: this law fights terrorism. And who’s going to disagree with that?
The label is repeated by the media who report on what politicians say. And activists repeat the title ourselves when we contradict it, without realising that it’s not a neutral label: it’s framed. In the end, supporters, reporters and opponents alike all emphasised the frame that this (clumsy) law fights terrorism. Instead, opponents of the law could have focused on re-labeling the law, led their messaging with how important a free internet is to nurture everything we value, and displaced the #TERREG hashtag as the only reference point on social media.
We don’t have to argue from within our opponent’s frame.
This month, Hungary’s authoritarian government tabled a bill that was easily pushed through parliament.
Viktor Orbán framed it as a law to protect children from paedophiles. Every time an opponent, independent journalist or foreign government would criticise the law saying that ‘this is not a law to protect children from paedophiles’, they would entrench the government’s framing.
Why? Because of the way our brains work. If I tell you not to think of an elephant, what are you thinking? If I tell you I’m not a crook, what are you thinking? Directly negating a frame ends up reinforcing a frame in our minds.
So even though on the surface we think that we’re telling people that a law discriminates against LGBTQ persons, our audience is subconsciously thinking, this is a law against paedophilia.
So how should activists have reframed this?
First, open with what you stand for: what’s your cause and why should anyone else care? On this particular issue, it could be to remind our audience that most of us have experienced love in our lives and that sharing love and being close to someone is a common human experience – regardless of who we’re attracted to.
Second, point out what is really going on.
Hungary’s authoritarian regime has consistently manufactured phantoms supposedly attacking the country’s security, economy or culture.
Previously it was people who migrate, philanthropists, the EU. Now it’s LGBTQ persons. Why? In part to play to their own base.
But scapegoating is also about division and distraction. Divide voters against each other along irrelevant differences so they don’t unite against you to demand an end to corruption and proper investment in public services.
And in this case, divide the kaleidoscopic coalition of political opposition using a wedge issue ahead of an election.
Third, come back to your main message before telling people what they can do to show their support. This basic structure for dealing with political hate and disinformation campaigns has been labelled a ‘truth sandwich’.
Journalists and activists need to pause and think about the terms they use in their reporting and campaigning. In an age where some politicians deliberately mislead and spread hatred, journalists need to ask if merely relaying their words is really helping to educate and inform the public.
And activists need to start focusing more of their messaging on what they stand for, rather than what they stand against.
Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib on Monday became the first active NFL player to come out as gay.
Nassib, who is entering his sixth NFL season and second with the Raiders, announced the news on Instagram, saying he wasn’t doing it for the attention but because he felt representation and visibility were important.
“I just wanted to take a quick moment to say that I’m gay,” Nassib said in his video message from his home in West Chester, Pennsylvania. “I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now, but I finally feel comfortable enough to get it off my chest.
“I really have the best life. I got the best family, friends and job a guy can ask for. I’m a pretty private person, so I hope you guys know that I’m really not doing this for attention. I just think that representation and visibility are so important.”
Nassib added in a written message that followed the video that he “agonized over this moment for the last 15 years” and only recently decided to go public with his sexuality after receiving the support of family and friends.
“I am also incredibly thankful for the NFL, my coaches, and fellow players for their support,” Nassib wrote. “I would not have been able to do this without them. From the jump I was greeted with the utmost respect and acceptance.”
Nassib, whose announcement came during Pride Month, added that he was donating $100,000 to the Trevor Project, a nonprofit that seeks to prevent suicides among LGBTQ youth.
“The NFL family is proud of Carl for courageously sharing his truth today,” NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said in a statement. “Representation matters. We share his hope that someday soon statements like his will no longer be newsworthy as we march toward full equality for the LGBTQ+ community. We wish Carl the best of luck this coming season.”
Nassib’s announcement also was greeted by Brian Burke, president of the NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins. Burke has been a major proponent of LGBTQ rights for more than a decade since his late son Brendan came out as gay.
“Proud to support Carl and his decision to come out as the first active gay player in the NFL,” Burke said. “I hope other sports executives will join me in publicly expressing their support as well.”
The Raiders showed their support, writing, “Proud of you, Carl,” on their repost of Nassib’s message on Twitter and adding a black heart emoji.
DeMaurice Smith, executive director of the NFL Players Association, tweeted: “Our union supports Carl and his work with the Trevor Project is proof that he — like our membership — is about making his community and this world a better place not for themselves, but for others.”
Penn State coach James Franklin said he and his wife Fumi were inspired by Nassib’s announcement to donate $10,000 to the Trevor Project.
“I am very proud of Carl for his courage and voice,” Franklin said. “This announcement doesn’t surprise me because if you know Carl, you know his strength. Carl’s story continues to add chapters which will have an impact well beyond the field of play.”
Nassib led the nation with 15½ sacks in 2015, Franklin’s second season in State College, and he was a cornerstone of the program’s path back to contention.
“Carl’s brave announcement will forge a path for others to be true to their authentic self,” Franklin added. “I was proud of Carl when he led the nation in sacks, but I’m even more proud of him now.”
Former All-Pro linebacker Shawne Merriman commended Nassib and suggested teammates and opponents won’t have a problem with his announcement.
“Congrats to Carl Nassib on coming out that’s a big step, I think that most players are concerned if you can play or not,” Merriman tweeted.
In a post saying he was proud of Nassib, Hall of Famer Warren Moon said he played with several gay football players in a storied pro career that spanned from 1978 to 2000 but none were “comfortable enough to go public.”
“They were great teammates, & obviously very talented. As long as they helped us win and were great teammates, their sexual preference was never a issue,” Moon wrote. “We live in a different time now where diversity is much more accepted. Cheers Carl, and I hope this lets other athletes know, its OK to say who you are…”
Added fellow Nittany Lions alum and Giants running back Saquon Barkley, “Much respect brudda.”
Sarah Kate Ellis, president and CEO of GLAAD, a leading LGBTQ advocacy organization, called Nassib’s “powerful coming out is a historic reflection of the growing state of LGBTQ visibility and inclusion in the world of professional sports, which has been driven by a long list of brave LGBTQ athletes who came before him.”
Ellis said Nassib’s story “will not only have a profound impact on the future of LGBTQ visibility and acceptance in sports, but sends a strong message to so many LGBTQ people, especially youth, that they too can one day grow up to be and succeed as a professional athlete like him.”
More than a dozen NFL players have come out as gay after their careers were over.
Former University of Missouri defensive star Michael Sam was the first openly gay football player ever selected in the NFL draft, going in the seventh round to the then-St. Louis Rams in 2014. But he never made the final roster and retired in 2015 having never played in an NFL regular-season game.
Nassib is a sixth-year pro who was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in 2016 in the third round (65th overall) out of Penn State. He played two seasons for the Browns and two for Tampa Bay before joining the Raiders in 2020. He has 201/2 sacks in 73 career games.
PARIS — Six French athletes have spoken about being gay and shared difficult experiences they had during their formative years.
A documentary by Canal Plus called ‘Faut qu’on parle’ (We have to talk) interviewed three women and three men.
Basketball player Celine Dumerc, fencer Astrid Guyart, and judoka Amandine Buchard remembered fears they had about their sexuality when growing up. The sentiments were shared by men’s skating champion Kevin Aymoz, rugby player Jeremy Clamy-Edroux, and former Olympic swimming champion Jeremy Stravius.
The documentary aired on Saturday, during Pride Month, and two days before Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib became the first active NFL player to come out as gay.
The 38-year-old Dumerc, who starred for France when it finished 2012 Olympic basketball runner-up, explained how she felt in her early years.
“You’re not sure what’s happening, you become attracted to someone who’s the same sex as you,” she said. “Then you start getting on really well and things start going a bit further. There are intimate moments.”
But Dumerc was distressed by some people’s perceptions.
“You hear all sorts of things like, ‘It’s an illness, it’s in the genes,’” Dumerc recalled. “You hear 20,000 absurd things.”
Guyart is the same age as Dumerc: “I was 18 or 19 and fell in love with a woman who was older,” she said.
One relationship was painful because her partner did not want to say she was gay.
“I wasn’t ashamed, but the person I was with was,” Guyart said. “That’s not a great way to build your identity and to envisage a loving relationship. It was destructive, in that sense.”
Guyart and Dumerc said they invented boyfriends’ names, including precise details such as birthdays, to hide they had girlfriends.
Buchard became European judo champion this year and said she needs to talk.
“I want to open up,” she said. “I think it will do me some good.”
Things were very painful growing up.
“I got close to a girl, and we would see each other from time to time. For me it felt really strange, because at the time I was going out with a boy,” Buchard said. “I was very scared, I cried a lot and shut myself away. For years I grew up (in an environment) where it was really badly thought of to be with a girl.”
Clamy-Edroux is a professional rugby player with second-tier Rouen. He said his upbringing “as a West Indian and a Catholic” made him scared to tell anyone how he felt.
“It was inconceivable (to be gay), it had to be a boy with a girl,” he said. “You want to please your loved ones, your parents. But you’re not being yourself.”
Speaking now about being gay felt easy.
“It’s just telling the truth,” he said.
Stravius experienced glory as the 2011 world champion in backstroke. A year later he won Olympic gold for France in a relay.
His focus has turned to helping others who may be reluctant to say they’re gay.
